Are you at a point in your life where you are in a downward spiral, fed up and sick of failing?
Do any of these fit your current situation?
- Gaining weight, but still eating or drinking poorly?
- Not going to bed, waking up or sleeping like you want to?
- Playing video games more than you should be?
- Spending too much time stuck in front of the TV or computer?
- Pretty much given up on exercise?
- Avoiding people because you find being with your friends too stressful?
- Lacking confidence in your ability to be natural in front of dates or your friends?
- Hating your job, but not knowing where to go next?
- Procrastinating about school, homework and studying – not getting the marks you know you could be getting if you worked harder?
- Bored, depressed and stuck in life?
Any one of these (or often a combination) can lead to some pretty negative feelings about being stuck in life, being out of control to change it and being stuck, not knowing where to go next.
Getting Unstuck Depends On This…
Have you ever noticed that you make changes in life when there is a lot on the line?
You may reach a point of crisis where you forced into changing your thoughts or behaviors.
It may be failing a grade, going through a major health challenge, losing someone you love dearly, being fired from a job or losing the respect or friendship of someone you really value, getting into trouble with the law, having to move cities or countries because of your parent's job or life situation, etc…
These types of events are called "crisis" events and it often takes one or more of these to happen before you can snap out of a destructive thought and behavior pattern resulting in significant changes in your life.
The challenge then is how to simulate these "crisis" scenarios, and the change they instill, without having to wait until a crisis actually happens in your life.
In other words, you don't want to wait until change is FORCED on you, it would be much better for you if you could start that change without the threat of major pain in your life.
The answer, is the first key step to making any major change in your life – and it comes down to Pleasure VS Pain
The key to kicking your life into breakthrough change so you can overcome that "fed up" feeling and change failure into wild success in your life is to take back control of your mind's assumptions around what is pleasurable in life versus what is painful.
Remember this, our thoughts are organized in a way that makes what feel more pleasurable to take priority over that which we deem more painful.
To understand the strength of these belief/thought/action principles – take the person who understands that smoking is a major causal factor toward a major heart condition they have just been diagnosed with…yet they continue to smoke.
In other words, hour-by-hour, day-by-day the short-term massive pleasure associated with smoking wins out over the longer term pain of further disease and the threat of dying itself.
This same relationship happens over-and-over again impacting your thoughts about nutrition, social interaction, self-confidence and self-esteem, finances, your profession and so on…leading you to further reinforce negative thoughts and behaviors over the thoughts and behaviors that will get you closer to where you really would like to be
How Do You Turn The Tables On Negative Beliefs And Thought Patterns?
By taking back conscious control of the pain and pleasure you associate with 1) The undesirable behavior and 2) The desirable behavior you are avoiding you can change the organization of your thoughts leading to massive changes in behavior within very short periods of time.
Just like you can change immediately after a major crisis, you can instill that same thought pattern BEFORE you hit a crisis point in your life.
Begin by examining your thoughts around the negative behavior…list what gives you pleasure about that behavior (this is what is reinforcing that behavior each and every day you choose it over other more desirable behaviors).
Next, counter these beliefs with strong facts and beliefs around why these behaviors will lead to pain as if you are experiencing that pain TODAY.
So, for example, if your undesirable behavior is eating a bag of chips each night before you go to bed, list why that gives you pleasure today (taste good, fills you up, takes away stress, calms you down, etc…) and then list the negative impacts of this behavior as if this would happen to you tomorrow (heart attack, unable to spend time with those you love, things you will miss in life, being paralyzed with a stroke, being rejected by people because you are so fat and low in self-confidence, etc…)
Now, do the same thing for the positive behavior (substituting chips for plain popcorn or eating a healthier dinner so you no longer crave the chips in the evening, etc…)
Focus on the positives of this behavior which may include living 20-years longer (seeing your child get married, meet an incredible woman, living a life of luxury, not going through the pain of major disease, etc…)
What you are really doing here is completely flipping your beliefs and thought patterns on their head such that you will begin to automatically change your behaviors away from the short-term gain, long-term pain toward where you really want to be in life.
The key to changing being fed up and failing in life is to consciously begin to control your thoughts, switch the pain/pleasure relationships and respond to the new focus on healthier, happier and more productive thought patterns that will emerge.