We all know what it's like when you have situations in your life where you know you lack self confidence…
- You dread talking to strangers even though you are ok around your family and closest friends
- You clam up when you are around people that make you feel uncomfortable
- You can't express yourself like you want to around superiors (boss, manager, coaches, teachers or others who you view as superiors)
- You have trouble 1:1 but are ok when there is a group of people around
- More than half of the time you can't actually act like you really want to because you are afraid
- You are quiet, serious but don't feel you lack self confidence yet you still feel like all eyes are on you when you are with your friends or strangers
- You feel like a wild tiger trapped inside of a turtle's body…in other words you have so much to say and share but can't seem to fit in
Do any of these descriptions apply to you?
Are you subjet to a lifetime of frustration, anxiety and unhappiness or is there a way to be more confident in situations where you feel low self confidence today?
This is actually much more common than you may think…there are many people who only come out of their shell in front of people they are very comfortable with, relatives, best friends but certainly not strangers.
So the first thing to realize is that you are not alone, there are many just like you.
What can you do?
1. Focus On Them Not You
Stop seeing yourself as the center of attention. It has been proven that people who are uncomfortable around others often put a way too much attention on themselves in these social situations. In other words, in your own mind you have elevated your position in these social situations to such a point that you feel all eyes are on you…being judged, every move, word and thought is being analyzed. This is a totally unrealistic view and must be changed so you can be once again comfortable in front of others. In other words, put the emphasis back on others, think about how they will feel, what they are saying, how they are acting and take the pressure and focus off of you in your own mind. This really works, believe me.
2. Manage Anxiety and Fear With Objectivity
Meditate and visualize the situations that make you uncomfortable today in a positive light. Without knowing it you have spent years creating "worst-case" scensarios that your mind has conjured up and now believes to be reality of incredibly painful, unfomfortable things that **could** happen when these things are mostly fabricated and certainly much worse than reality. Meditation helps remove subjectivity and return objetctivity into your life so fears, anxieties and negative thoughts are placed back into perspective instead of being way overblown.
3. Conversation Starters
Ask others questions – when you are caught in a conversation and don't know what to say, listen and ask people about their interests and themselves – this helps everyone become comfortable, gives you something to talk about and takes the strain off of the moment.
As you can see, there is a way to move beyond the anxiety and fear associated with certain social situations today into a zone where you feel more confident, more comfortable and can express yourself well in any situation.
Not only does this improve your ability to enjoy life and be yourself, it enhances your overall self confidence because you now know you don't have to avoid people or situations and can be yourself more often in life.