I was speaking to a recent reader of Attracting Greatness yesterday when they shared something rather surprising with me.
A section of that book is focused on boosting self confidence and self esteem with what I had thought was a rather obvious emphasis on finding the inner confidence that we all have within us…but many have fogotten how to reach.
The truth is we all end up at a point in our lives, under a certain set of circumstances where we lose confidence in ourselves and can't seem to find it no matter how hard we search.
It may hit when you are faced with a new, unknown life situation like a new baby, a new relationship or an illness or other life change that you hadn't experienced before.
Or, it may surface as it has many times before when you must deal with someone you feel is superior or when an old friend (or enemy) comes back into your life.
Whatever the catalyst, something happens to rock our self confidence and no matter how hard we try we can't seem to find that certainty or strength needed to not only "put on a brave face", but to really experience self confidence again.
LOOKING IN THE MIRROR
What shocked me about this conversation with the reader was he viewed self-esteem as something external…an outward appearance of confidence that was judged by those around you completely dismissing his own internal feelings.
That's when it hit me, most people really do see self esteem in terms of the behavior exhibited and response received when you DO posess an optimal level of confidence.
Sure, that's true, but what of the internal characteristics leading to the response you receive from others?
When you have a low self esteem you tend to not be yourself.
You shy away from people, talk quietly, look upset, angry, frustrated or detached and exhibit signs of nervousness that make others feel uncomfortable.
But if you are truly self confident you CAN be yourself and speak clearly, look at people right in the eye, be calm and have clear judgement about your behavior and appear friendly, warm and closely attentive to those who you communicate with.
In order to reach that state though you must posess self-esteem that comes from within…an inner confidence that comes from being at peace with who you are, clarity of purpose, free from anxiety, frustration and fear…that's where your increased self-esteem comes from.
Think of it this way…you will truly know you have a healthy self esteem when you can look in the mirror and be absolutely excited and at peace with who you see NOT when you look in the eyes of those around you.
How do you reate your level of self-esteem?
Are there certain situations that make you uncomfortable?
How do you help boost your internal sense of self-worth and self confidence?
Leave us a comment and let's add to the help provided above.