The older I get the more convinced I am that true happiness, motivation and enjoyment in life comes from having an optimal balance between self improvement, introspection, and learning on the one side countered by a willingness to enjoy the moment for what it is…"smell the roses" as they say.
Lean too far either way, your life balance is skewed and things get a little crazy.
On the one hand, we've all noticed those people that seem addicted to personal development – a dependancy nearly as harmful to the spirit as drugs are to the mind and body. Without their daily dose of motivation, philosophy or praise they are sunk and can't seem to function on their own.
But there are those equally unbalanced on the other side. People who live in fear, have goals and objectives they do not fundamentally believe in, lead destructive, excessive lives of quiet desparation because they do not take the time to get to know what really makes them happy or what is preventing them from living more in line with their purpose.
Could you lead a life where you just let life happen to you?
Where you get up in the morning, eat whatever you want, take a calm bath, read a book, be nice to those around you, go to bed and do it all over again the next day?
If only it were that easy…
Yet what would have happened in our life if we lived this life of passive contentment?
Would we have learned how to walk? Would we have learned how to play music (a true gift I was able to learn), how to paint, how to socialize with other people….
Waking up and simply "living life" or "existing" may sound great for a day (heck it sounds great for a few weeks!) but how long would it take for us to get bored and uhappy?
Humans need to learn, be challenged, live the rollercoaster of ups and downs, be active and yes, meet our fundamental needs of fitting into society, to be loved and accepted and to alleviate our fears (the 3 causes that lead people to become philisophical and look for meaning outside of their lives)
So, having a healthy balance of learning, improving ourselves, meditation along with reserved times in our life where we sit back and just experience life, live it without thought and just exist turns out to be a winning combination for improving happiness, fulfillment and being more productive overall.
What is your experience?
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It happens to all of us, suddenly we find ourselves in a funk, looking at things negatively, unable to convince ourselves to get off the couch, get out of bed or to get working on an important task or goal.
We have lost our motivation, and isn't it a huge struggle to drag ourselves out of that rut and once again get motivated?
How do we slip into these funks?
Often it happens gradually, we are at the top of our game and we let things slide a little. Some bad habits form or we stop pressing forward with our own agenda in a focused way and we find ourselves under the influence of others losing track of our own purpose, goals and objectives.
Then, because we have looked to others for our guidance, we find that we are not 100% aligned with our direction and then motivation suffers.
We lack a big purpose, can't find a big enough reason to continue in the face of challenges – if left to fester, the next thing we know this disease called procrastination impacts motivation in other areas of our life – our finances, relationships, job, and self-image all begin to suffer.
What we need to know is how to turn things around, and motivate ourselves to get out of the rut.
5 Ways To Motivate Yourself Now
1. Strengthen Your Resolve By Re-Discovering Your Purpose. Without linking a goal or objective to an underlying BIG reason why in our lives, we are pretty much sunk. Now certain tasks we just know are right for us – perhaps playing music, writing, playing sports -and that is because we have a passion, interest, desire and likely a strength for that activity. In the past we have consciously or unconsciously created a link between a dream or purpose in our lives with these activities. If your passion is playing music, then you likely have had extremely vivid dreams about a purpose where you gained influence, prestige and financial reward through your music. That you can bring happiness, enjoyment, and love through your craft. For other areas in your life you want to go through the same exercise – how can you relate those goals and objectives to your passion or purpose?
If you struggle to find your purpose then try using these purpose finding techniques or consult one of the best resources we have found on finding your ultimate purpose in life.
2. Interrupt Your Current Thought Pattern and Routine. Negative thinking, procrastination and lack of motivation all demand changing things up. We tend to always fall back into patterns – if those patterns are positive, then this is an asset. If your patterns are negative, then that will only work to prevent you from increasing your motivation. Change your daily pattern – get up earlier, go for a run, take a break, go for a drive (to an areas you normally wouldn't go), anything to change it up and get a new perspective on things will help break your negative mindset.
3. Understand that YOU Must Call The Shots. Too many of us end up blindly following others (spouses, friends, teachers, bosses, idols, etc…) without thinking for ourselves. This inevitably takes us down a path where we end up living someone else's life, not our own. Nothing gets you motivated faster than taking back control for your own direction. Without control, we become frustrated, agitated and negative — when we have control, we grow happy, motivated and positive.
4. Boost Your Self-Confidence. A good deal of motivation is directly linked to our self-image. If you lack self-confidence you typically have a tremendous struggle going on inside – no wonder you can't get motivated when there is a war going on inside your head. Use the blueprint included in Attracting Greatness to ensure you have a healthy, consistent level of self-confidence and watch your motivation soar.
5. Take Action...when you suffer from lack of motivation, your life is stuck in a rut you want to break that pattern of passiveness with activity. That means…
- Exercise – walking, jogging, tennis, swimming, aerobics, cycling, treadmill, weight lifting, – whatever the activity of choice just DO SOMETHING!
- Meditation – the best exercise for the mind involves freeing it of cobwebs and allowing your mind and body to work as it was intended. Make sure you find 20-minutes each day to meditate – you won't believe what it will do for your life
- Be interested – the best way to make sure you take action through the day is "get your head in the game". That means pay attention, listen, have an opinion, proactively see information and renew your interests and passions in life
Of course, nobody is perfect with these 5-steps and for sure, when you are stuck in a rut and your motivation is at an all time low making the smallest amount of progress on these items seems like a massive challenge…but that is precisely why you need to get the ball rolling. Just take a small step, start with one of these and build momentum, before you know it your level of motivation will be through the roof!
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Could the process toward achieving success in our lives be this simple?
Step 1: Look inward to find passions, strengths and interests that lay the foundation for our intention (to live in alignment with our passions and interests) – look wide and come up with a complete inventor. Don't edit any of them in this process because how we apply these intentions to our action is not always obvious at first
I always like to refer to this Helen Keller quote:
"What I am looking for is not out there … It's in me" – Helen Kellar
Step 2: We restrict our goals, objectives and intentions to only include those items derived from #1. This involves two methods a) Being brutally honest and throw out those goals, actions and behaviors that are not in line with our intentions and b) Looking for ways to more closely align our goals, actions with these intentions. In some cases it is possible to change how we pursue our goals to align better with our intentions
So many times we error in one of these two areas – we either look outward for our guidance instead of looking inward and/or we do a poor job of editing our actions and goals in line with our internal intentions.
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The Passion Test
Feeling stuck in life? Are you at a point where you need a change? Thinking there has GOT to be more meaning to this time on Earth and know you need to find out what that is?
Look, our happiness and emotional feeling about where we are in our lives changes frequently and we all go through periods where we have stopped dreaming and find ourselves at a crossroads where we need to shake things up a little – and that usually means searching for the purpose in our life at that time.
Remember as young people, we had limitless dreams, anything seemed achievable and the process of dreaming about the future was highly fulfilling and motivational – but somewhere along the way real life seemed to get in the way.
The good news is that we can control the boat – we can begin the process of turning things around, getting back on course where we can get those feelings of wonderment, of being unstoppable and inner peace back.
I often look back at a keystone book (I suggest you pick up a copy – this is one of those few examples where you get far more than a book – instead it is a tool you can come back to it again and again) The Passion Test.
This book has it all for those wondering how to get unstuck, how to rekindle the inspiration, dreams, passions and motivation in your life.
With a mix of practical, step-by-step blueprint material, case studies and touching stories from people who you truly can relate to this book never fails to immediately help when I need to re-visit where I am in life and alter the course to get back in tune with my passions and begin to enjoy life again.
I am amazed that each time I go back and review the Passion Test I find something new that instantly gives me control to change my life for the better.
For example, this latest reading I pulled out the following:
Action engages Attention – it is not the action that achieves the result. Things will almost certainly NOT turn out the way you plan. But by taking action you keep your attention engaged with fulfilling your intention. It is your attention that creates the outcome.
In this line alone, we see the formula for handling setbacks – by focusing on giving your intentions ATTENTION through constant and consistent action, you make the achievement of your goals (your intention) a certainty.
There are hundreds of other revelations inside this terrific book, it is a MUST to add to your collection and will certainly give you far more benefit in your life than the price indicates.
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Purpose Driven Success
The chances of success with anything we do in life are very slim if we do not align our goals with an element of passion led by your purpose in life.
Yet passion alone does not mean that we will automatically take action or achieve the goals we seek.
What is the right balance of passion and objective execution toward any goal?
From the people we have consulted this is our current thinking around finding purpose and tapping into desire and passion:
1. You do need to start with what you love, after all that is what triggers the brain and your emotional system to work at its optimal (optimal chemical balance, lower stress, better functioning brain, immune system, digestive system, etc…) This is the key to an optimal state of emotional and physical "being" – the precursor to motivation, taking action, persistence, etc..
Just a quick aside, I watched this past weekend as my 9-year old in his 3rd lesson snowboarding – which can be a frustrating new skill to learn.
Now my 9-year old is prone to being easily frustrated, has a short fuse – but something amazing happened. Even though he fell more than he stayed on the board, not once was there anything approaching a complaint. Over and over again he tried and fell, then little by little it came. The next lesson once again removed him from his comfort zone and back to falling, but again not one complaint and again he improved.
My point is that our ability to persist, take action, learn new things, make a difference, master a skill and stay happy are all built on the foundation of tapping into what we love
2. All of that said, knowing what your passions and interests are is only the starting point, from there you want to cultivate those passions and turn them into directions that help you achieve goals and objectives in your life.
So, if you have a goal to becoming a more "present" parent to your child (as one random example) – then find a passion or interest that you can share with your child and suddenly you will find things evolving toward your ultimate goal in a simpler way.
The control you have over achievement in your life is this link between what you are passionate about and the goals and objectives you seek. If the two do not obviously line up, then seek a way to build an element of your passion into the goal you seek.
Effective business people do this all of the time.
You may seek to grow a highly profitable business, but know that your interest is NOT in building detailed financial plans, but is in networkiing with people. By realizing your passion and strengths, focusing on how you can best serve your goals using networking while filling in the gaps via outsourcing, hiring or other methods where you can be free to focus on what you do best.
Do you know what your passions are?
Have you figured out how to apply them to major life goals?
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Meditation Impact On Brain
For many people, they seek out meditation based the desire to relax, calm their brain and help to de-stress after having a bad day.
In other words, to experience the temporary benefit of peace of mind, relaxation and taking some time to slow down a busy mind.
Yet for others who meditate regularly, they find some pretty major improvements in their lives throughout the day – not just when they are meditating.
Improvements in lowering stress, lower blood pressure, more controlled blood sugar levels, their ability to control anger, to reduce deptression, help manage addictions, boost their immune system and more.
In fact, I was one of those people who used to see meditation as some fringe spiritual practice, then evolved to curiousity but not being able to really get in the proper zone right through to feeling the amazing advantages – calmness, happiness, improved health (literally overcoming a non-functioning digestive system).
In fact, the blueprint in Attracting Greatness shares tips on how to properly use meditation as one of 5 Pillars on your road to personal and financial success.
Finally, we now see science catching up with what many of us have known for decades (and others for centuries) – that meditation does work and that 20-minutes of meditation twice daily can have major, lasting impacts on the brain.
Neurosocience research (study of the brain including mapping out electrical functioning of the brain) has over and over again proven that not only does the practice of meditation alter
Studies like this one have linked brain function during times of meditation.
In this recent study done in Boston – researches found that 8-weeks of meditation led to actual structural changes in the brain.
In other words, there were measurable changes in the structure/size of the brain regions that directly resulted from 1-2 20-minute/day meditation sessions.
So we finally have proof that lasting change in brain function can be directly controlled by meditation.
So what regions of the brain did meditation impact?
- memory
- sense of self
- empathy
- stress
I was especially pleased to see that the meditation tested was "mindfulness meditation" which simply means meditation where you focus on nonjudgemental awareness.
For most people, meditation is extremely challenging, it took me years to get it down only because I was trying too hard.
With mindfulness meditation, you simply focus on one stimuli (a sound of waves crashing, looking at a spot on the wall, closing your eyes and focusing on one image, etc…) and simply allow your thoughts to flow each time nonjudementally bringing them back to the single stimuli.
Using this approach, you are aware of these other thoughts racing through your mind, but you do not judge them – it is as if they belong to someone else and so you accept them and move back to your single focus stimuli – within minutes (sometimes it takes up to 15 minutes) you find yourself in a deep state of mindful meditation – without really trying that hard.
What is really important here are the impacts on literally "growing" your brain power in each of these areas:
1. Memory: Imagine being sharper, having access to more past memories – even recovering from age and disease related memory challenges just with 8-weeks of meditation? I find that incredibly exciting!
2. Sense of Self: This is so important…to a very large extent in life our self-confidence, purpose in life, link to what truly makes us happy and success itself is related highly to having a good sense of our self. Likewise many of our fears, insecurities and anxieties come from doubting ourselves. A huge advantage of meditation is the peacefulness, happiness and confidence that comes from a better sense of self.
3. Empathy: Our relationships, understanding of other people and ability to persuade and influence others has in large part to do with empathy. Some people just have a knack for knowing what other people are feeling, for those that do not it is powerful to know that we can now improve our empathy through meditation.
4. Stress: Ok, this is a big one. So much of our health, happiness and mere survival depends on us managing stress yet so many of us are WAY out of whack today. A good deal of stress is in response to our own thoughts about situations. For years one of the biggest advantages people claimed from consistent maeditation was an increased ability to see things as they are instead of as we fear them to turn out. Phobias, fears, anxieties, frustrations all largely melt away when we see things more objectively – can you imagine that things like public speaking, risk taking, social situations or other limitations for you now could be gone in as little as 8-weeks?
For those of us who regularly practice meditation and experienced the "magic" of lasting effects, this study comes as no surprise, but it is great to see some scientific support for what we have known all along.
Do you meditate? What have the effects been for you?
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Consistency Leads To Excellence
Have you struggled to realize your goals? More familiar with the term procrastination than achievement? Can't seem to stick with something long enough to get results?
Wouldn't it help to be more consistent?
You vow to eat better and for a few days, you do…but then someone invites you out to lunch and suddenly you find yourself in front of a big plate of cheese nachos or french fries…and then instead of getting back on track, you lose it completely and revert back to your old habits – but what if you could have been more consistent in your behavior?
Here are some tips to use to improve your consistency:
1. Back it with a big WHY! The reason we revert back to old behaviors is because they tend to be very well reinforced in our minds – often related to pleasant situations or avoiding pain. So, when we strive for consistency of new behaviors, we must equally link them to a desired and pleasant outcome. If you want to lose 10lbs by consistently eating better and exercising, then we must reinforce how we will look, what our friends and family will say and the outcome of having extra energy will bring to our lives each day.
2. Set aside a planned time for the activity. Having several businesses on the internet that depend on regular writing, I make sure that the first hour (at least) each day is allocated to writing…that way if other important things come up during the day they don't derail my most important priority.
3. Set ambitious, but manageable goals. Understand that our minds can focus better for 10-15 increments, have a break and then again for 15-minutes. Plan that into your schedule so you are not working against your mind
4. Check your attitudes toward discipline and consistency. Some people were brought up or taught that doing the same thing over and over is a negative – that it will make them boring and that they will never truly experience life that way. I am all for creativity and changing things up, but for those BIG goals and objectives in your life, consistency gets results – period!
5. Get right back on that horse. When you learned to walk, ride a bike or ride a horse (for those that have), play any sport or achieve anything of significance in your life, you know there were setbacks – did you give up? No, and so when you mess up your consistency don't let it impact the entire objective – instead, acknowledge that you slipped and then get back on track the next day. There is no period too long between reinforcements when you truly believe in your goal.
Consistency leads to momentum, energy, confidence and in the end, results. Identify those really important goals, objectives and related actions then commit to 30-days of consistency and watch your results soar.
Filed under goal setting, personal development by
Have you ever been around someone that says Yes to nearly everything, and then struggles or fails to carry out their commitment?
What about you? Do you often feel pressured into saying "Yes" to someone or something because you think it is the right thing to do and then regret it later?
Or maybe you end a week by feeling drained having worked your butt off, yet you still haven't made progress on the things that MOST important to you?
I remember back nearly 14-years ago when many things in my life started to change for the better – my health, my professional career, relationships, and overall satisfaction in life.
There were multiple factors involved, but one of the most important was getting to the point where I could say No to activities, plans, and people that did not directly fit in with my focus.
I distinctly remember gaining confidence, being empowered by taking control and choosing exactly what I did, with who and when. Of course, this didn't happen completely overnight and today I still struggle with competing interests of friends, customers, family and those around me…but I guard my time, energy and creativity extremely carefully today – and that has been a huge breakthrough in my life.
A good friend of mine reminded me of the power of no yesterday when it was clear he had placed himself into a corner in both his career and relationship to the point where things were going to blow…and worse, he had nobody to blame but himself.
In my mind, being able to say NO confidently means that you have a good handle on at least 3 important things in your life:
1. You know what you DO want, which makes it easy to know what to say "no" to those things that don't align. We are far more likely to say Yes to anything when we are lost, stuck in a rut or rather desperate for finding direction in our lives. By saying NO, we are showing the world that we know what we want and aren't afraid to go after it.
2. You have the self-confidence that pursuing your path and not the path that impresses someone around you is best. Let's face it, saying no to bosses, influential people in your marketplace, those closest to us in a relationship, family or our kids is tough stuff…it takes an inner confidence that most of us have to work hard to get and maintain (Check out Attracting Greatness, an amazing blueprint for becoming more confident and productive)
3. You may actually get something done on the things that matter most to you — instead of being distracted by everything around you. The closest thing to the Holy Grail of personal improvement is finding the ability to stay on target and get things done at a much faster pace than in the past…this builds momentum which boosts self confidence and energy in your life.
Are you at the point where you can say No confidently, keep distractions to a minimum and stay on target living an On Purpose life?
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How much of your personal motivation, productivity, happiness and overall daily attitude depends upon regular injections of confidence boosting feedback from someone around you? Does your self-esteem and personal self confidence come from outside our from within?
For most, especially kids and young adults, seeking self confidence through praise, doing the "right" thing and trying to "fit in" can actually send us down the wrong path – even though the quest for confidence building may seem like we are doing the right thing, by making the source of that self confidence something outside of us we are placing our very lives in the hands of others.
For instance, in this recent study in Michigan, students rated self confidence boosting feedback and situations above sex, drinking and getting paid meaning that the majority's dependence on external factors influencing their self esteem was almost as important as food, water and air to them.
But is that the right perspective?
Does chasing praise and positive opinions about our behavior serve us well?
What happens if we lose that source of external self-esteem, will our lives collapse and fall apart?
In Attracting Greatness it is clearly shown that the top achievers, happiest and most adjusted individuals are those that are able to draw on incredible sources of self confdience from within themselves.
In fact, just knowing that they themselves can handle any situation and can pull up confidence no matter what their life situation is instills in them an inner peace, confidence, fulfillment and happiness that those who have yet to tap into their inner well of strength has.
So, the point being – seeking self confidence through dependence on external factors is really no different than seeking satisfaction in life through dependencies on drugs, alcohol, eating or other destructive habits.
While working on your ability to trust yourself, see the tremendous energy and power of your own spirit, instincts and reason – and how all of this gives you an unending supply of internally derrived self confidence making you unstoppable is a terrific way build a healthy sense of self confidence that radiates energy and makes you more attractive to those around you.
Where are you with your self confidence? Are you able to see your own personal stores of energy and confidence? Leave a comment and share.
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Great interview with Russell Simmons – former street punk turned major record producer involved in the hip hop movement about his new book "Super Rich"
Some interesting points:
- Money doesn't make happiness, happiness makes money (as well as spiritual happiness)
- Focus on doing your work, following your path, taking action rather than the results…eventually they will come
- Be present and be awake – this is terrific advice…just plugging yourself into your surroundings can help you live in the NOW and turn your live around – realize what you have and be gracious
- He sees people in the slums who are unhappy and he sees Billionaires that are unhappy — interesting statement
- Watch out for the poverty mindset – break out that no matter where you are or come from
Some very powerful messages – watch the video here:
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