What about you?  As a parent, are you more concerned about your child's self-confidence than say bullying, anger management or other social/psychological challenges they may experience growing up?

WHY SELF-CONFIDENCE MATTERS

In today's society people are forced to make more decisions in less time which means that those of us who must convince or persuade others have to be more effective than ever.  It goes without saying that one major factor in our ability to quickly persuade or impress someone else is self-confdence. 

Looking at some of the most successful people ever in Beyond Greatness, one of the 5-Pillars of greatness is self-confidence — so those of us who are concerned for our kids level of self-esteem fundamentally kn0w this to be an important quality they must posess as they grow older. 

Now, we find out we are not alone.  A recent survey commissioned by Big Brothers and Sister's organization finds that the #1 concern parents have for their kids is low self-confidence…a full 62% cited concern in that area beating out other issues such as bullying and alcohol/drug addictions likely supporting the notion that low levels of confidence are often the catalyst for other negative experiences our children have as they grow. 

All of this said, let's note a couple of cautions about judging self-confidence in our kids:

1. Kids mature at different speeds, your 10-year old may not yet have the strong self-confidence that his peers have at school, that doesn't mean he will never have self-confidence, it may just mean he hasn't yet fully developed his place in the world

2. Outward appearance isn't everything.  Many people make the mistake of confusing being outgoing or an abundance of outward behavior as self-confidence where a quiet, less competitive or more reflective person is thought to have lower self-confidence.  Instead of looking at how outgoing they are socially, look for signs of happiness, contentment, self-assuredness, taking interests in things, and having a close circle of friends as opposed to looking at how outward their personality is. 

On the other hand, signs of low self-cofidence can include:

• Have trouble dealing with their emotions (not just periodically, but often)
• Are unhappy more than they are happy
• Often hesitate or refuse to do what they want to as fear overtakes them
• Are unable to act independantly or take responsibility
• Shy away from new opportunities (as a rule rather than the occasional dislike)

Note – we all go through points in our lives when we are operating at lower self-esteem than at other times, kids are no different.  So, if there is something quite new such as a move, a new school year, or other major life change, give them some time before you judge them as needing a boost to their confidence. 

3 Ways To Boost Your Kids Self-Confidence

1. Make sure they feel loved and wanted.  I've noticed this with many families struggling with kids who have low self-confidence, they have lost touch with their kids.  It's easy to do in today's busy society.  Look for ways to spend more time with them, talk with them, share moments – become active in their life again and you will have set the foundation for strong self-confidence.  Making sure your child feels loved doesn't increase their self-confidence immediately, instead it sets a strong foundation upon which their own growth can occur. 

2. Help them get to know themselves.  So much about childhood and learning is about others teaching them about the outside world, how to act toward others, more and more about the world around them…but what about how they get to know themselves?  I was in my 20's before I really figured out how important it was to take some time each day to get to know what was inside of me…you can help kids do this with introducing them to concepts of personal improvement, visualization, breathing exercises, imagination games and even introduce the basics of meditation to them. 

3. Stop doing things for them…instead encourage them to do for themselves.  This is tough to do, but instead of doing things for them, let them try things and make mistakes.  There will be messes, they will occasionally get hurt, and their will be times where it will pain you more than them…but letting go while still loving them is crucial for them to grow their self-confidence.

There are two common causes for severe low self-esteem among kids…not loving them enough and smothering them.

The key to increasing your child's self confidence is offering them unconditional love, get involved in their lives and know when to back off and let them make their mistakes.  I know, easier said than done, but the stakes are high.

What have you found works to improve your kid's self confidence?

Change Your Life Now!

After living through an immense health challenge in my early 20's that fundamentally altered my life forever, and experiencing an incredible ability break through limitations, fears and that horrible feeling of just being stuck in life, we decided to put our experiences together with years of research from others who have been able to excel into Greatness in their lives – all with an aim to putting together the absolute best, fastest and most effective plan to help you change your life, realize true happiness and prosperity…a blueprint we call – Attracting Greatness!

Attracting Greatness is changing lives, helping people who have been stuck in a rut for decades to finally breakthrough and experience fundamental, extraordinary change.

Whether you are searching for that deeply held purpose you know you need to find, but can't quite seem to put your finger on, or that you are trying to push past the daily bad habits that are keeping you from realizing your dreams, Attracting Greatness has the blueprint that really works.

We outline the 5-Pillars of Greatness…the 5 most important aspects of our lives that require mastery.  Without understanding and then aligning each of these 5 Pillars, progress will be nearly impossible.  Some of those pillars include Finding Your Ultimate Purpose, Overcoming Fear & Anxiety and Boosting Self-Confidence Once And For All!

What is truly amazing about this system is the incredible power we have when understanding how each of the 5-Pillars of Greatness impact one another – suddenly it becomes clear why when we work on just one, we may not see the results we expect…yet when we work just a little on all 5 we see amazing results with less effort – after all, they are intertwined and to make progress we must understand how each works for or against the other.

Another powerful aspect of this blueprint are the techniques, tips and strategies outlined helping us to tap into our internal values, beliefs and inner compass — with these quick techniques and practices we can not only bring immediate calmness to anxiety ridden lives, we can truly figure out who we are and how we can best improve our own lives and the lives of those around us.

As one example, we show you how to mix simple, effective meditation techniques (we used to be terrible at meditating, but found a way to really make it work) to guide the deepest, most important realizations from within us suddenly lighting up our brains with the most profound realizations of who we are, what we want and what is holding us back.

Over and over again we are getting heart-warming and sometimes positively shocking stories of how people are finally getting unstuck and are finally able to move past limitations they have had in their lives for decades.

If you are at a point in your life where you are stuck in a rut, where you suffer from low self-confidence, can't figure out how to change your daily routine to be happier, more satisfied and fulfilled or simply want to step up your results…then I highly recommend you head over and learn more about Attracting Greatness – it really works!

What Makes You Happy?

We all keep this thought in the back of our minds don't we – "Are we really happy?"

Yet, for how much that questions tugs at us every minute of every day we often tend to avoid bringing it to the forefront and really do some thinking about finding happiness or what it is that does not make us happy.

After all, this is a rather complex question – confusing the issue of how to find happiness is:

• Does my happiness have to be linked with making other people happy?
• Is the key to happiness short term satisfaction, or is true happiness and contentment based on adherence to longer term satisfaction?
• Is it ok if being with someone else makes me happy or do I need to have inner happiness?
• And of course the really big one…is it ok if money makes me happy?

No wonder we have such a hard time getting a handle on this happiness question – as our lives grow more complicated sometimes we lose total perspective on what being happy even means or feels like.

Inner Happiness Key To Outer Contentment

A lesson we learn as life goes on (if we are lucky) is that relying on other people, situations or factors to find happiness often ends up leaving us empty in the end.

It's not that other people or things shouldn't make us happy – it is more around how those factors need to accent our inner happiness to really be effective.

We must start with an inner core of happiness that then guides us (attracts us if you will) to people,  situations and factors that enhance (not conflict) with our inner happiness.

For instance, starting from a point of inner confidence where we live our lives in harmony with our internal purpose (refer to the very effective Attract Greatness on this topic), means that we attract those who help bring out this inner confidence rather than shoot in down.

Similarly, if we are clear on our purpose and direction in life, then possessing money or particular material things can be used to enhance our life purpose (helping others, learn more, etc..) rather than conflict with this life purpose (gamble it away, spend it on destructive practices that make us unhappy in the end).

What Makes You Happy?

So, that brings us to the FUN part – what makes you happy?

Let me kick things off, but I want to hear from you – hit the comment button (top right of this post) and let us know what really makes you happy?

Here are some things that make me happy:

- Being able to use my full creative energy (music, writing, leading people)
- Spending at least half of my day (more if possible) learning new things
- Sharing what I can with those around me (customers, family, friends)
- Silence – having time each day for meditation and introspection

What has the opposite affect, stifles my happiness:

- Getting too far into a pattern of doing without having time to reflect
- Having other people control my time & impact my energy, I have chosen to make this a major focus area in my life
- Wasting time with people who get in the way of those things that make me happy
- Fear, frustration or other negative mindsets that stifle natural curiosity, learning, free expression and growth

Ultimately, this comes down to knowing if I focus on inner happiness and stay aligned with that state, my outward behavior and impact on the world will be much more positive reinforcing the happiness and fulfillment we all seek.  Of course, we are human and none of us are perfect, but this is a journey and hopefully we can continue to make progress.

So let's hear from you – what makes you happy?

Jeff

We had the conversation about what he wanted to accomplish, what value did he want to delivery to his market and how he would help people who would be the target of his latest book?

Obviously the conversation was not going in a direction he wanted it to go in.

Instead, he kept asking "how much do you think I can make by doing X?"  Or…"how soon can I make $Y"

While there are valid questions, there is such a thing as putting the cart before the horse.

Before you can set financial goals, you need to understand what your own beliefs and desires are, what your place in society is, and how you will bring value to those around you.

The system outlined in "Attracting Greatness" is all about aligning your personal desires, passions, strengths into a powerful purpose that attracts happiness, peacefulness and financial security into your life, but my conversation with this young man was the exact opposite, instead it was about something that will make you unhappy and POOR in a hurry, that something is…

DESPERATION

You have experienced the terrible car salesman that so badly wants to sell you a new car that he completely forgets that you are a real person with questions that needs to be heard right?

Or, you have had the pushy network marketing affiliate who breaches the fundamental trust established over years to make a few bucks commission…

How did you feel?

Right – turned off!

Desperation repels happiness, well being and wealth in your life – PERIOD!

Honestly – I know just as many miserable people who are can't come up with next month's rent as I know miserable people who are chasing after more.

Happiness, peace of mind, and life balance comes from within – if you are willing to look inside of yourself and get to really know who you are, what you have to offer, what your role is in the world and become comfortable with who you are…then not only will money not dictate your state of mind, it will be far more likely to flow your way because you are focused on adding value rather than taking.

Being in business for years it always amazed me how the actual realization of financial gain, security and happiness are actually repelled by trying to hard to get it.

If you are desperate, then everyone sees that and you you actually turn people off.

Same thing goes for relationships, health or any other area of your life where you want to make improvement.

By convincing yourself you are NOT up to par in a certain area of your life you are sowing the seeds of self-doubt.  That self-doubt impacts your self-confidence and ultimately your expression of self-esteem in front of others and suddenly you have put yourself at a big disadvantage.

If you are comfortable with who you are, consistently live in tune with your inner beliefs and values and stay focused on adding value then money and happiness will find their way to you because you are coming from a position of internal confidence, gratitude and expectation which tends to attract and draw in the abundance that exists all around us – that is my experience at least.

On first pass, you may dismiss one or more of these personal development techniques as overlapping – whether the purpose be relaxation, stress relief, improving your relationships for financial situation, the truth is that all three techniques can work better when combined as a full frontal assault on self improvement.

In the 5-Step power achievement system contained in Attracting Greatness common obstacles such as fear, frustration, toxicity, low self-esteem are tackled using a very structured set of techniques that include each of visualization, meditation and affirmations along with other relaxation and introspection techniques like yoga breathing exercises.

I meditate at least 20-minutes each day, ideal I have found is two 20-minute sessions, but that doesn't always happen.

For those that have trouble meditating or relaxing, then using visualizations can be the single best way to experience the power of meditation.  Think of the most relaxing place or situation you have ever been in…sitting by a beach, boating, sitting in front of the fire, being around family, etc…and use that to help calm your mind as you enter into a deeper state of meditation.

Affirmations – that's part of my morning exercise, what else do I do while shaving each day   Seriously, having definite, positive statements you repeat to yourself each day shouldn't just be about what you want OUTSIDE, but you should have a couple of affirmations about your personal development – reinforcing your relaxation meditations and visualizations.

Visualization is probably the first thing I picked up way back over 20-years ago when I was coming out of school – don't remember who I learned it from, but I have certain visualizations for relaxation, certain ones for achievement and others for health.  They pretty much happen automatically now through the day.

Finally – the key piece is to make sure all of this is purpose based, which does take additional time to figure out and needs to be re-visited every 6-months or so.  Once you get a meditation method that works for you, begin to add introspection and guided meditation methods that allow you to locate and identify your life purpose which can then be aligned with future goals reinforced by their own visualization, meditation and affirmations.

As you can see, the 3 personal development techniques can have much more impact working together than separately.

You wouldn't be the only one, I have fallen for this too as we often make the mistake of assuming the loudest, most outgoing person in the room is the most self-confident person among the group.

You know what I mean.

The storyteller that at first, makes everyone feel comfortable because they take the lead, but that quickly becomes annoying because they won't allow anyone else to get a word in edge-wise.  How about the coach or teacher that feels being loud and "tough" is the best way to teach others – are these really examples of high self confidence?

Just as you peel the onion you see different layers, if you look beyond the loud exterior of most of these people lies a deeply troubled person with very low self confidence as they try and cover this with confident – looking behavior.

Unfortunately, without true self-confidence – a true sense of self-worth you will never be able to reach your true potential or be truly happy and healthy.

Inside "Attracting Greatness" - the excellent new book that finally shows a system that combines the best mental and physical traits of top leaders and difference makers in the world – there are traits that clearly identify one as being highly self confident.  Those self-confidence traits include:

1. Not being afraid to make mistakes. If you look for one measure of your self confidence it would be how open and comfortable you are to making mistakes – even putting yourself in situations where you know mistakes will be made with the objective of quickly learning and improving yourself despite how making that mistake may make you feel.

2. Do you make commitments? If you are always making excuses, trying to get out of making a commitment, always hear that little voice in the back of your head that feels as though you are being backed into a corner when asked to commit – chances are you lack self-confidence.  Commitment is one of greatest signs to the world that you can be trusted and is critical to attracting greatness into your life.

3. Do you trust yourself in the worst of times? We all have moments where we are confident, where we are proud and happy with our actions and feelings, but how many points in your life do you doubt your ability to act as you wish?  Do you struggle in certain situations or in front of certain people?  Do you purposely stay away from certain people or stop doing what you really would like to do because you doubt your own ability or fear failure?  At the highest level of self-confidence we have absolute faith in our own behaviors – not because we believe we will do the right thing in every case, but because we have put our fears into perspective and know that we can handle whatever uncertain situation arises – this is the state you can achieve with "Beyond Greatness"

4. Forget about perfect – seek out perfection only in terms of being true to your inner desire, value and beliefs.  This is actually a very profound concept which starts with spending more time figuring out what is inside of you, what truly makes you happy and consistently living your life in harmony with your inner perspective.

Often what we believe is self-confidence is really the opposite – behaviors, actions and defenses that cover up a lack of self esteem, where confidence is so brittle that a battlefield of weapons have been constructed to avoid that which one so often directly seeks.

With the 5-step system in "Beyond Greatness" you can change your life, build your self-confidence and finally be free to make an impact on the world and live in a constant state of peace, fulfillment and happiness that so many seek, but so few achieve.

So what are some behaviors that indicate you have more self-confidence?

How many of us dream of writing a book one day, yet a tiny fraction of us every actually write and sell that book.

If every one of us who had an "ideal" health and wellness regime in mind actually was able to live out that lifestyle then the world would be a much healthier place

Wondering how to stop procrastination befuldles the best of us…we all suffer from procrastination at one time or another.  Sometimes we even hide it behind claims of perfectionism, indifference or even build complex defense mechanisms around lack of taking action.

In the end, the only one we are hurting is ourselves and those around us. 

In the blockbuster book "Achieving Greatness" it is clearly demonstrated that we must learn to deal with two GIANT concepts in our life before we can claim victory over procrastination forover…

1. Align our deepest desires with our desired plans and actions so that we are motivated deeply and emotionally to achieve an end result – a drive that will overcome procrastination in nearly every scenario, and…
2. Deal with latent fears and low self-esteem that interrupts progress

By tearing down the roadblocks that stand in the way of massive, almost insane passion and motivation, we can re-discover a results-oriented style of living that will make procrastination a distant memory.

These are the "slippery slope" moments in our life when we let exhaustion overcome our willpower and usually end up careening downhill with breakdowns that take months to repair.

First, anyone that succeeds in life – whether those successes are financial, social, psychological, or just living a life full of abundance, happiness and enjoyment – there must be an ongoing energy applied to willpower and discipline.

Many of us do not have the energy, we are too tired and give in to temptation – take the easy route out and lose our focus, perhaps never really regaining the form we once had.

What are some reasons we lose our willpower due to exhaustion?

1. As we outline in the highly touted study of Attracting Greatness, 90% or more of us are walking around today in a "toxic" state where our bodies are overwhelmed with nasty parasites, imbalances of bacteria, poor health regeneration, toxic levels of poisons we inherit from the environment and food we eat…all of this leads to a state where exhaustion is not the exception, but becomes the normal.  We operate in a constant state of tiredness, low energy where we cannot hope to maintain our willpower.

2. Recent studies have also shown that the degree to which we experience emotional turmoil also exhausts us depleting the ability for additional willpower in our lives.  So, for example, if we struggle with a low self-esteem and just existing in life each day puts us into a state of heightened emotional turmoil, the challenge is that we will have much less energy left to apply to willpower which means we tend to eat poorly, exercise less, are more prone to depression and other issues – which in turn feed the low self-esteem.  Do you see the vicious circle here?

So what do we do about it?

First, we must work on our self-esteem. Look deep within ourselves through meditation and yoga which help us to lower the amount of emotional turmoil (and thus wasted energy) we use each day.

Next, we must commit ourselves to understanding the real health of our bodies – rid them of the toxic state we find ourselves in today and continue to stay in a heightened state of purity giving us added energy.

Finally, we must be aware that willpower, discipline and focus – key building blocks of achieving greatness, are highly dependent on energy – we must nurture and protect our energy stores from negative people, strengthen our stress management capabilities and learn to direct our energy toward discipline and willpower.

The good news is that making small changes today will pay HUGE rewards. By committing to daily meditation we can, in just a few short weeks, notice massive reductions in emotional turmoil and see the benefit of added energy making exhaustion the exception instead of the rule.

Precisely for these uncomfortable times in our lives do we need to focus on building self confidence and self esteem.

Let's face it, when we are pressured to conform, we do things that we don't believe in…

1. We treat people differently because we feel it will help us "fit in" rather than in alignment with our own personal values and beliefs

2. We behave (either better or worse) in ways that differ from how we would act had we been consistent with our internal values

3. We become frustrated because we can't actually act or react like we know we should

4. We dress differently than we really want to dress

5. Our emotional and physical health suffers as we continually compromise our mind in favor of trying to be accepted

The worst part of all this is that people will sense your level of authenticity, if you are not acting in alignment with your core principles and beliefs then you will come across as fake, distant, unkind, or unlikeable.

By building self confidence, addressing low self esteem we gain the ability to be comfortable within ourselves which gives us a power that works with the universe (instead of against it) operating at a higher level that will attract greatness and great people toward us.

In fact, the stories, techniques and strategies discussed in Attracting Greatness all begin with a strong sense of self worth supported by proven methods of building self confidence.  The benefits include massive improvements in health, financial situation, relationships and personal happiness.

Yes, there will be uncomfortable times.  There will be times when you must stand alone…but as long as you are in alignment with your own core values and principles, that's ok – you will draw more Greatness to you shortly.

First, we must understand what our core principles are.

What is it that drives us?  What kind of relationships do we want?  What sort of experiences do we want to have? How can we improve those around us to the greater advantage?  What kind of fun and excitement do we want to have?  How can we help others AND enjoy what we are doing at the same time?

Second, we must review those core values and principles each and every day.  Spend 5-10 minutes each morning reviewing those principles so that we are mindful of them each day – keeping us aligned with the confidence and self esteem principles that will help us harness the universe.

Third, let your positive experiences fuel your growth and help your quest toward building self confidence even more.  When you weather a rough time and then overcome the challenge, you will gain strength, influence and likability – and you will do it on YOUR terms.

Let those experiences of beating the challenges power you to even greater heights of self confidence.

Having the strength to be yourself, do good work, treat people with great wonder and kindness and achieve extraordinary things is perhaps the most fulfilling thing we can do in life.

It all starts with building self confidence.

As part of Attract Greatness, the objective is to live in a constant state of high confidence, where we are fearless to pursue what we really know is important and valuable in our life. 

So often in our lives we seek approval, reinforcement and identity outside – in the relationships with others, friends, family, employers, co-workers – when we get it, our self confidence soars, but when we don't we come crashing down to earth and suffer debilitating low self confidence that paralyzes us preventing happiness, productivity and enjoyment in life. 

The sooner we can seek internal sources of self confidence and self esteem, the quicker we will realize more consistent levels of happiness and peace in our lives.  Instead of seeking the "quick fix" of getting approval from someone around us, we would be much better suited to determine what really drives and motivates us from inside and live our lives in alignment with those inner desires.