But how do you overcome (or at least manage) fear of failure?

After all, we are talking about a paralyzing force here that directs ALL of its energy toward preventing us from taking action – a force that is so deeply embedded in our subconscious mind that we often have no idea how it comes to be. 

Yet fearing failure cannot win…our happiness, health and professional/financial lives depend on learning to get past it.

I've been working hard over the last couple of years to try and manage emotion from big decisions and daily behaviors.

Notice I didn't say eliminate since burying your emotions or pretending they do not exist are both as unhealthy as letting them control you.

The key to managing feelings of fear though is to understand that 99% of the time we completely overestimate (to the point of fabrication) the negative consequences of any decision or action.

In other words, it's all about the worst possible outcome we can imagine instead of looking at the more likely, less negative outcome. 

It's not that we want to pretend that only the best will happen, we are not talking about living in a fantasy world, but we are also not talking about living in the worst possible situation either.

Instead of giving in to fear, try instead to  write down the positives and negatives, what you believe your chances are of succeeding, what would improve your chances and what the most likely outcome will be (not the worst possible outcome which is where our minds typically dwell)

I find that meditation, yoga, deep breathing and other mind-calming activities can help tremendously by recognizing and then calming the emotional reaction to decisions allowing you be more objective about the outcome. 

Suddenly, you begin to clearly see the real likely outcome of your actions and can quickly determine if you should continue and how to improve your odds of achieving the outcome you desire without being paralyzed by emotion.

The entire exercise of yoga or meditation (if it's done correctly) helps train you to remove the emotional reaction to things from the things themselves which helps tremendously when fear, frustration, anger, etc…tend to take over.

Stop being a victim to fear of failure, learn to be comfortable in proceeding with key life actions and watch your results soar.

For some, it is the sight of an attractive member of the opposite sex, suddenly they are reduced to a blithering idiot (at least in their own minds)

For others, the fear of death, of heights, or fear of intimacy can result in major challenges in their life.

In order to be the best we can be…to achieve Beyond Greatness (as this great book on achievement teaches us), we must learn to face and overcome our fears…to do that, we need courage.

Nobody wants to feel the sudden heart palpatations, feelings of dread, sweaty palms or guilt of not facing fear head-on again, so let's look at a method for increasing your courage and facing one's fears

DEFEATING FEAR & ANXIETY

This may sound simple, but I urge you to give it a try.

I have overcome many fear-laden situations by imagining a "best case" situation where everything goes absolutely fine. 

We spend so much time picturing how these situations could go wrong, that's what feeds the fear.  If your fear is approaching an attractive person of the opposite sex, then whether you realize it or not, you have run that "movie" inside your head hundreds  of times where the outcome turns out bad…where you get rejected or made fool of.  How can you possibly be expected to behave normally when such a massive dread has been created inside your own head?

So instead, imagine walking right up to an attractive woman, starting the conversation and confidently engaging her in light-hearted talk where she really ends up digging you.  Or imagine getting up in front of a group of people and engaging them in light-hearted talk to start your next public speaking engagement – see the smiles on their faces, feel the warmth in the room, see it all unfolding in a way where you are a BIG HIT by the end of the day. 

I've done this with public speaking, dealing with authority figures (where I used to bring along a fair amount of "chip on my shoulder") as well as fears of heights…just to name a few off the top of my head.    I can tell you two things happen when you use this approach:

1. Your fear is reduced as are all of the associated symptoms such as not thinking clearly, being flustered, not able to communicate, and so on…
2. Because you are able to operate without as much fear, your performance is better and people will respond…they sense that you are in control, that you do not have fear and that you are warm and open to their attention. 

I like to use the analogy that dogs can sense fear in humans,  I believe others can sense fear in you as well and are repelled by it (or may even try and take advantage of it). 

So, by controlling fear you reduce that negative energy and others begin to respond to you as you wish. 

You want to visualize this "perfect" situation 3-4 a day for the next few days and you should feel your fear ease up enough to take action. 

Let me know if you have other ways of increasing your courage to fight your fears?

Jeff

1. The power of knowing what you want

2. The power of visualization

We explore the entire range of factors involved in 'getting unstuck' and moving forward in your life within Beyond Greatness...here I wanted to give you some tips on visualization.

The power of visualization will help you overcome obstacles on your path to greater achievement in your life, but is only as powerful as knowing what it is you want. 

Visualizations often are misguided as people use the powerful technique to redirect energy their way bringing new opportunities, experiences and things into your life – but, if they are not inline with what YOU want (and say instead are the dreams, goals or objectives of someone you admire), then you will not achieve happiness or greatness within your life. 

But…if you can really dig deep inside of yourself through the power of introspection and understand what you REALLY desire…then using the power of visualization is incredibly powerful.

I first figured out how powerful visualizations could be when I quickly worked my way up the ladder in a retail job back in highschool…working through 4 promotions in less than 1-year in a part-time role meant I was second in command of the store within a very short time. 

Next, I used the power of visualization to overcome fear and doubts I had about entering an entirely new career space using nightly visualizations of how I would look, feel, act and respond as if I was a seasoned professional in these positions. 

Less than a year later I used visualizations to expand my abilities into training and publishing training manuals which I then progressively visualized as leading to my own business which is certainly now the case. 

Along the way, positive visualization helped deal with significant doubt, fears, distractions to maintain focus and achieve desires almost at will.

If you have ever felt left behind or stuck in a rut or left back because you can't seem to propel yourself beyond fears, distractions, frustrations – then use positive visualizations to set yourself up for success.

Your Own Positive Visualization

Start your own visualization by having a clear sense for exactly what you want to achieve – something in your personal or business life perhaps or a health or wellness goal.

Next, play a movie to yourself visualizing you having already achieved your end goal – who would be around you and how would they react?

Let's say you had finished your own book or lost 20-pounds – imagine walking into a room with either goal achieved – what would those around you say?  How much attention would they pay to you?  Would would it feel like to have achieved either goal?  Would you be smiling, have more freedom, feel better about yourself?  What would that feel like?  How would your friends react? 

Once you have a complete "movie" in your head of having reached your ultimate goal, then play that back over and over again several times each day until you have reached your goal through the power of visualization. 

Give it a try – even after a week you will begin to notice a difference – you will feel more confident, have more energy and depending on your goal, may already have achieved your desired outcome.

Not a happy story, but tell me this isn't the case for most of us?

The catalyst behind most of despair is something we well know as procrastination.  It's not that we don't have ideas, plans, enthusiasm – great intentions of living out all that we are capable of…but procrastination rears its ugly head and before we know it, we've missed opportunity after opportunity.

So, what then is procrastination, how do we pinpoint it's causes and how do we overcome it? 

Having told our story of how we turned severe health challenges, and near financial ruin into optimal health, happiness and financial success in Beyond Greatness…I have felt the amazing ability to overcome obstacles and live in a state of consistent happiness and achievement. 

Procrastination can be the result of several factors, the main ones being:

- fear
- placing too much focus on past
- avoidance
- being overwhelmed

Now each one of these factors can further be split into more detail.  For example, which fear is it that results in procrastination in your life?  The fear of looking bad in front of your friends?  The fear of not being able to handle rejection?  Perhaps the fear of actually succeeding and not knowing how to deal with that success can throw people into procrastination.

Overcoming Procrastination

1. Self awareness – you've got to become more aware of present and let your mind ease with meditation and or yoga to let your true greatness come out

2. Set a few great, but clear goals

3. Focus around your goal – all activities should align with your goal

4. Tackle the tasks you like least first

5. Think consistency – you will succeed

6. Plan each day and week – at least in beginning to keep you on course

7. Build in rewards, rest, relaxation – but only if you stay on task

8. Become aware of your fears, know what they are

9. Put your fears in perspective using Meditation – look at them objectively instead of full of emotion

10. Positive self-talk and visualiations to stay motivated an on-track

Use these techniques to learn the habit of taking action, overcoming obstacles and leaving procrastination behind as a character trait that no longer defines your life. 

When you set the bar higher, need to operate outside of your comfort zone, take on an element of higher risk or experience situations you haven't experienced before (or have had bad experiences with in the past) you begin the negative self talk that begins to feed fear within you.

Take public speaking.  For most of us, the prospect of getting up in front of strangers (or sometimes worse, our peers) is extraordinarily frightening.  The more time we have to think and stew about it, the worse the fear gets.  I know personally when I am faced with a situation that instills fear in me, the longer I have to wait to complete the task or get through the situation the worse because I get myself all wound up.

So much of our fear is an irrational response we internally have to a completely objective situation or experience in our lives…which means we CAN control it.

Do we "fight" fear?

Do we "disallow" fear?

Do we "ignore" fear?

What is the best way to deal with fear in our lives when we seek to achieve greater levels of personal and professional achievement?

What has worked best for me is to first recognize fear (it is not always apparent to us, but to others we act differently), then look objectively at what it is we fear.  I then try and put fear into perspective…often when we consider what is likely to happen we can recognize how irrational our thinking has been leading to heightened peaks of fear. 

So, the goal is NOT to eliminate fear, for that just masks what is really going on and can lead to further problems, but rather recognize it and place fear into perspective so that you can carry on without your behavior or thinking impacted by your fear. 

What do you think…should you fight fear or embrace it and deal with it?

Jeff