Are You Playing Not To Lose?


As complicated as our human brains are, how we think is actually pretty black and white.  We are either thinking about life through the perspective of NOT losing or we are thinking about things in life in terms of WINNING.

These two "lenses" through which we see life impacts our every thought and ultimately controls our behaviors as well as where we are in life now and in the future.

We've talked in previous blog posts about the importance of being mindful and mindfulness, without it we will

At first blush you may think these are the same thing, nothing could be further from the truth.

This dichotomy explains why so many of us are stuck in life, can't seem to break old patterns or habits and are more at peace (oddly enough) when we are fighting for survival (NOT to lose) than when we are trying to grow in life (focused on winning).

Here's a video clip from renowned mind researchers Daniel Goleman and George Kohlrieser – from their powerful series Working With Mindfulness now on Kindle...

Can you apply mindfulness to your day?

Consider each thought, are you thinking and making decisions based on NOT losing (surviving as is) or are you moving into the territory of winning?

While I don't advocate throwing defensive thinking out the window entirely, there is certainly room in our lives to move from a 95% defensive, 5% winning ratio to a much more even balance where we can shine the light on changing our lives, seeing life as it WILL be rather than trying to hold onto what it is.

Here's a good example I came up with in my own life this morning.

I have my financial investments from the past 30+ years sitting in various accounts, most of it not invested in anything or if it is, I have been too paralyzed to move it over the past several years.

This morning I started the process in having it consolidated, choosing a financial professional and working with him to invest to win rather than trying not to lose my money.

The reality is that by taking the No Lose approach over the past 10-years I have, in fact, lost because my money made nothing and the money that was losing continued to lose because I was unable/unwilling to be mindful and make better informed decisions.

Can you think of an example with your relationships, finances, career, or personal life where you have simply been thinking about NOT losing rather than how to win?


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