Had an email exchange with a recent owner of Attracting Greatness – Roadmap To Total Life Success when he reached out in frustration over real attempts to improve his self confidence and assertiveness in life.
On the positive side, he was aware enough that to improve his job, relationships, behavior and place in the world he needed to work on his own perception of himself first and then work on putting those changes into practice daily to see significant change in his life.
But there was something going wrong…he seemed to have made some very limited progress in areas like being more comfortable in his day-to-day living spaces and putting some of his past relationships into better perspective (not blaming himself for every single setback in his life).
Yet, he was still having trouble with a girl he was chasing, still having trouble dealing with a jackass boss, and still struggling to see the big breakthrough in his own self confidence that would give him internal awareness that he could handle tough situations in his life.
What Is Your Frame Of Reference
As we spoke, he mentioned this statement several times "so that I can be as good as I am"...a seemingly logical statement that on first blush, could be considered harmless.
What struck me almost immediately though is that this one statement (actually more the thought process behind the statement) reflected a limitation in his way of thinking that explained 99% of what was still holding him back.
I call it a "Faulty Frame Of Reference"
Do you think that great achievers like marathon runners, social masters or business successes achieved their greatness by shooting for something less than they actually achieved?
No, before we can achieve, we must believe.
In fact, before we can achieve, we must feel, see, smell and LIVE that outcome…otherwise we stand very little chance of ever getting there.
So what if we changed out thinking from "I'm trying to be as good as I am…" to "I know I will be as good as I WILL be…" with the implication that you will expand your vision to something bigger, better, more satisfying and fulfilling in your life.
Granted, this doesn't just happen, it takes some work to outline this optimal living environment (social, psychological, physiological, and so on…) , but it absolutely can and MUST be done.
If you are stuck at a point where personal improvement seems to not be working for you, where you want to leap to the next level of happiness, self confidence, and personal success – then create the ideal picture of what you WILL be and then work toward that picture.
At that point you will have raised the bar, you will find the journey more fulfilling and exciting and will gain levels of confidence and success that today you may find impossible to believe.