Confidence is a sliding scale, one minute or situation we may feel on top of our game when just a few hours later we may wonder where all that confidence went.
Where are you right now with your self confidence?
Do you feel as though you are in total control, confident in your ability to handle whatever comes next?
Or, do you retreat into a ball of fear and anxiety afraid to deal with anything else?
Here's a quick way to get a read on your current level of self confidence.
1. How Well Do You Listen?
Confident people are able to fully listen and hear what others around them are saying while people who lack confidence are so busy dreading what they will say next, wondering what people are thinking about them or trying to escape a situation that there is very little room left for listening.
Do you know someone who is a "full frontal assault" talker?
They have to immediately engage in conversation, fill in every blank with meaningless drivel and continually try to get your attention if you so much as look away?
These are all symptoms of low self confidence…there is such anxiety about what you are thinking about that person they are continually over-stimulated to the point of knocking you off your feat
2. You Stick To What You Believe?
How many times have you had a first thought, instinct or belief but suspended expressing that belief and then quickly changed your mind because of what someone else says? Self-confident people are definitely open-minded, but they are also firm in their beliefs – at least those beliefs that they (deep down inside) truly adopt. How many times do you change your mind because you are influenced by someone else versus because you change your mind due to the facts? How many times do you act without congruence to your inner beliefs? This tells you a great deal about your level of self confidence
3. You Ask Lots of Questions?
I was talking to my 13-year old last evening after a meeting with his teachers where the feedback was that he rarely asks for help…my discussion with him was that rather than looking weak or helpless by asking for help, you instead are exhibiting strength, leadership and confidence – not worrying about how you look or if you can deal with the answer but seeking to be curious and get to the bottom of whatever you are doing. Are you someone that continually asks questions both of yourself and others? If not, that could be a sign that you are not as self confident as you could be.
4. Who's Plan? Yours Or Theirs…
Are you someone that mostly follows other people's plans or are you someone who makes their own plans and then attracts (often naturally) others to follow along? Do you look inside and find out what you really want and then plan to go after it or are you someone who is more likely to latch on to other people's plans and help them? While there's nothing wrong with being a team player, you want to mostly be relying on your own instincts and inner voice to lead your direction rather than always following someone else's path.
5. You Form Relationships With Those Ahead Of You
If you are someone who's entire circle of friends are those that are where you have been rather than those who are where you want to be, you need to work on your confidence. We all would like to meet and learn from experts or those that have achieved things in life we want to go after, but most of us lack the self-confidence to really go out and form relationships with these people. After all, winners are people too – most of them have been where you are and completely understand if you approach them with a passion, interest, humility and air of confidence that you want a mutual relationship to help each other progress further in life. Are you afraid to contact, approach or network with people above you? Confidence is the most common reason for this inability to reach higher in life.
I bet you can answer these questions about your own life in LESS than 60-seconds…not bad for a quick, but accurate test of self confidence. Let us know how you made out with your answers…leave a comment. By the way, you should know that the vast majority of people will find this exercise very challenging and will not do well as most of us do lack the self confidence to pass even the simplest test like this one.
How did you do?