Perception is everything when it comes to your own self-image and self-esteem.
So many people have labeled themselves a LOSER continually replaying that thought and message over and over again in their heads until they absolutely believe it and that belief governs every action they take in life.
Problem is though, the reasons people use to label themselves a loser and therefore limit their ability to live their lives to the fullest are simply NOT true.
Here, take a quick look.
1. I Spend A Lot Of Time Alone
This one comes up ALL of the time and is often accompanied by someone who doesn't feel they go to enough parties, social events or feel comfortable in social situations with their friends. However, for most people this feeling starts in the rough years around highschool or college when a certain smallish group cope with peer pressure and finding their place in the world by going out all the time and building their self esteem totally around how they are reinforced by others. Don't you see, in reality those of us who spend these years learning to instead follow our internal beliefs and guidance (who do NOT seek self-esteem through external validation) usually end up with a much more balanced sense of self confidence. So, if you find yourself preferring to stay at home with a close friend, play video games, watch a movie or stay out of the party scene, know that you will most likely end up with a far better sense of self than the ultimate party animals that may intimated you today.
2. Most of My Friends Just Screw With Me – They Are Not True Friends
While you may feel alone in learning that some friends are better friends than others, your experience is by far not the only one. In fact, we all go through this as we figure out our own values, beliefs and how those relate to the people we choose to be around. These are tough choices, but using your internal compass is the best way and if that means leaving 90% of the people you meet as casual acquaintances instead of close friends, then so be it. Again, those who choose to make friends with everyone at the expense of aligning their relationships with their own beliefs and values will end up hurting themselves in the end.
3. I Am Not Cool, People Don't Want To Be Around Me
This one comes up often and to some extent we all feel this way – even those people who seem to attract everyone into their inner circle. The fact is you will attract people who you value into your life IF you live without fear, not afraid to be yourself and open yourself up to the world as you are. By hiding yourself or trying to be someone else you will come off negatively and by continuing to put yourself down through negative self-talk you will convince yourself that nobody wants to be around you – your actions will follow your thoughts and you will make sure that happens. Change the dialog in your head, know that when people get to know you and see your true inner confidence and beliefs that the RIGHT people WILL want to be around you.
4. I Don't Seem To Want To Do The Things That Other People Want To Do
Great! Who wants to be with someone who is exactly like everyone else? This becomes even more true as you emerge from your teenage years where uniqueness and sense of purpose is FAR more important than being "normal" or being "like everyone else". What too many people do is suppress their true passions and direction thereby hiding the most amazing thing about you and making yourself miserable in the process. Look inside, know that you have an amazing set of characteristics, values, and capabilities and the more in tune you are with those the more others will see that in you and be attracted toward you. In the meantime, you will be happy and energized because you draw your strength and motivation from inside yourself NOT from what others think or say about you.
In most cases, those who label themselves as LOSERS actually have the MOST to give to the world (in terms of unique vision, passion, personality and spirit) – by blocking that through convincing yourself you are less than incredible you are depriving yourself from true happiness AND you are keeping the world from benefiting from you.
Now, who is the real LOSER? Not YOU!